Things I Did and Didn't Say
by LittleCheshireKitten
Summary: Noah's locked his words away for a while now, everyone at Total Drama High knows that.


**Now here's a fic that I actually intend to continue no matter what. Funny story behind this one. It used to be so much better, I swear. But I wrote it all in the notes on my phone and my phone has a habit of randomly deleting notes, so it was all lost and I had to rewrite it from memory. Anyways, on with the show.**

Things I Did and Didn't Say

I never talked much anyway. Even if I did, it was only sarcastic remarks that were often left unheard. No one ever really appreciated what I had to say. So, I locked my words away. Some day, they'll beg me, they'll cry just to hear me speak again. And when that day comes, I'll be the happiest I've been in a long long time.

It was always the same routine every day. I'd wake up in the same bed, eat the same breakfast, wear the same clothes, and walk to the same school. My parents were never home, not like they ever really cared for me anyway. My siblings were probably off doing who knows what, whatever it was, I was never invited. They had always hated me because I was so much smarter than them. It wasn't my fault that I was basically a genius, or perhaps it was. Maybe it really was my fault, maybe I was the one who really drove them away. I'm not sure when I got to school, but there it was right in front of me, the entrance to hell. It seemed I always got lost in my own thoughts every now and then. But then again, there was always a lot on my mind.

I remember the day it was announced, it didn't surprise me really. After all, I did read the fine print. The thought of going to the same high school as these other contestants wasn't surprising, but it wasn't desirable. Total Drama High School. The name made me feel sick, but that didn't matter. Nothing mattered anymore. I made my way to my locker, taking extra precautions not to run into anyone. My book was the only thing I really ever needed. It wasn't that the book was great, because reading material that I haven't read was scarce, but it was all I had left.  
"What's up, Mute Freak?" The familiar taunting laugh called out.  
Duncan. It was always Duncan. From there, I slipped quietly into my first period classroom and took my usual seat. Sure enough, it was in the very back. The teacher didn't even need to do so much as offer a glance to the door to know that it was the same student every morning, coming to read his book. It wasn't silent, but it was peaceful, and that's how I liked it. The sole reason being this classroom was right next to Principal McLean's- or rather Chris' office, and even the most daring, such as a certain green haired delinquent, didn't dare disturb him. The bell rang as it always did. To me, that sound signified the best and worst parts of the day.

As always, Owen took the seat next to mine. He always had so much to say, talking to me as of I would respond, even if he knew I wouldn't. And that was refreshing. The most I got were insulting remarks spat at me if not, only pitying looks. Fools. If they pitied me so, perhaps they shouldn't merely stand before me as I live what I wouldn't want to call my life. It was because they were scared of change. They didn't want to step up from the sidelines as they watch my life stay the same as it has been. I would almost say I couldn't blame them, but I very well could. My life has been changing dramatically since that day. The lock my words were under molded me into what I am today. As for the insults? Of course I try to make it seem like they don't bother me. But they do. They always do. It was the kind of thing you hear that makes your through tighten and your chest feel heavy, you try not to let the hurt show, and maybe it works. But as soon as you think you've forgotten those words, they come back, your mind repeats them to yourself over and over. The words are etched into your brain until you somehow believe they're true.

I absentmindedly skimmed the pages of my book as I tried to drown out the sound of the teacher dragging on and on about who knows what. I was far too intelligent for this, she taught things I've known since the first day of kindergarten. So I didn't listen, after all, why should I? Soon, the first hour of the day was over, and I had done nothing. It doesn't bother me though, it was better to do nothing than the stupid somethings that some others opted to do. Second period was the worst part of the day. Not a friendly face in the entire classroom. To make it worse, there was him and her and just about everyone else. Instead of my book, I only carried a single notebook. With no verbal aid, I had to express emotion somewhere. Naturally, writing was the only option. From journal entires to poems or even songs. But today, I- or rather my hand- had decided in absentminded doodling. As hard as I tried- and I really did try- to push the thought from my mind, it was the only thing I thought of. His name scattered around the paper, his usual gap-toothed grin etched on the side. Sure enough, the late bell rang and the teacher was nowhere in sight.

That was when all hell broke loose. Heather, who held the infamous queen bee title- it was quite a mystery how it could've been her, after all, no one really liked her- had decided on walking behind my chair, hooking her foot on one leg. The result was a notebook fallen to the floor, wide open for all to see, and me, sprawled on the floor. Normally, I'd developed the reflexes needed to catch both my book and myself, but the sudden force was enough to send me flying, hitting my head. Damn that Cody for distracting me. Of all the chairs to hit my head on, it had to be his.  
"Ooh, what's this? Nice diary, Mute Freak,"  
Duncan flipped through, reading the most embarrassing parts aloud. And then he saw it.  
"What are you doing drawing that dork? Does someone have a crushy wushy?" His laughter joined by much more.  
That was almost enough for me to summon the strength I needed to get myself to my feet. I tried to prop myself up, and it nearly almost worked. At the last second, my arm trembled and gave out, sending me back on my stomach with a loud thud. I looked to Duncan's girlfriend, my eyes begging her to do something. But all Gwen did was give a sympathetic look and supplied no further aid. This must be how she felt when Heather read her diary back on the island, but this was a million times worse.  
"Don't worry, Lover Boy, I won't tell the dork. But I'm sure he'll find out soon enough,"  
Duncan then turned to leave, but not before ripping the pages to shreds, throwing them over his shoulder along with the rest of the notebook. He then walked out of the classroom, girlfriend in tow. How could someone as sensible as her go out with someone like him? She did bring out his rumored soft side, so maybe that was it. The shreds of what was once my notebook fluttered around me as if it were a careless blanket of snow. The cover flying right at my head, the few pages left intact slashing my face. Oddly enough, the paper cut across my cheek didn't hurt. Nothing did. I just felt numb.

I don't know how long I stayed sprawled on the floor, but the bell told me that it was far too long. I finally forced myself to stand. You'd think that break was one of the good points of the day. Well it wasn't. With minimal supervision, breaks were a time for misbehavior, and misbehavior was always bad on my part. Sure, I love a good fight every now and then, except when I'm on the victim end. And more often than not, I was. I sat at my usual seat at my usual table. Sitting with me were the only people who didn't leave. They were the only ones who didn't stop talking to me, even if they knew I wouldn't respond. There was Owen of course, Izzy, Eva, Cody, and where there was Cody, there was Sierra. Everyone was already there, listening and laughing at whatever Cody's story was about. On a good day, the stories of everyone's antics would even bring a small smile to my face.

Cody's POV

Even if no one else does, I think that there's still hope for Noah yet. Even if we've all accepted his silence long before, I believe that some day, he'll be the same Noah he was before. The reason is, well, sometimes, even when he thinks no one hears, he'll laugh. It doesn't sound like much, but it is. And even when the sound is drowned out, the sight of him laughing is just- well I guess I can't really explain it. The way his eyes are scrunched closed, and he's bent over clutching his stomach, his body trembling from the force of the laughter escaping his mouth. I don't know when I became so poetic, the way I described his laugh like that. I mean, there's something special about him, something interesting at the very least. I'm not going to say I like him, but there's something about him. But I guess I'll keep quiet about it for now, I don't want him to be uncomfortable or anything. I'm not even sure what is even really happening, could I really like a guy? For as long as I've known, chicks dig me, ya know? Maybe I'll just figure it out after I sort out my feelings and my sexuality.

Noah's POV

I sat with my head resting in my right hand, covering up my cut. What I thought was a harmless paper cut could easily be described as a gash. I poked at my food as I listened to Izzy's rambling. The food here was better than Chef's, thankfully. It wasn't great but it was far better by comparison.  
"Dude, is that blood on your hand?" Cody questioned as he leaned in to examine the liquid that I carelessly let seep through my fingers.  
I would have enjoyed the closeness if it weren't for the reason, not to mention today's earlier events. Everyone, even Eva, was visibly concerned.  
"Are you ok, Little Buddy? Did Duncan hurt you? Nobody hurts my Little Buddy!" Owen looked around the room for the familiar green mohawk.  
I shook my head quickly. I didn't need my friends getting into this mess, it would only cause them trouble on my behalf. I tried to play it off as no big deal but to no avail.  
"Ooh, you need a nurse! I know a shortcut, follow me!" Izzy took off running.  
Owen threw me over his shoulder and ran after the girl with everyone else close behind. And so it turns out Izzy's idea of a shortcut was crawling through the vents which she seemingly had a great knowledge of. Owen was too big to fit through the vents, so he ran through the halls with Eva for company. Izzy lead us followed by Sierra then Cody when helped me make my way through the vents with my already weak limbs from previous events. Finally, we came to a halt. Izzy pulled back a vent cover and waited a moment before gesturing us to follow her lead. She dived down head first to what seemed like the floor to the infirmary. Sierra slipped down without hesitation, followed by Cody who nervously gestured for me to do the same as he made his way down. I expected to feel the cold tile floor on my skin for the second time today only to be caught by an awaiting Owen who had already explained to the nurse my situation.  
"Oh my, that's quite a scratch you've got there," she mused in a professional sounding tone, "Why don't you clean that up and then I'll bandage it for you and you can come back in a few days and I'll check on it, sound good, dear?"  
I nodded before going to clean the dried blood from my face with my friends happy to help. As the nurse finished with the bandages, the bell rang for third period and everyone waved a goodbye before heading off, everyone except Eva who thankfully had the same class as me next. Unfortunately, so did Duncan. Come to think of it, Duncan and I had the exact same schedule. With so few students attending, there wasn't a need for very many teachers, so instead of assigning students classes of the appropriate level of intelligence, only the basic grade level lessons were taught.

"What's the bandage for? Did you hurt your Facey Wacey while fighting for that gap-toothed dork?" Duncan taunted as soon as I walked through the door.  
"Leave him alone." Eva ordered as she started walking towards Duncan.  
"Oh, so he has to have someone fight his fights for him now? Why are you defending him anyway?" Duncan used an almost accusing tone of voice.  
Eva was just about ready to jump on the boy and beat him senseless, but just as Duncan was getting the slightest bit unnerved, the late bell rang and everyone darted to their seats. I offered Eva a smile of thanks but she was too busy glaring daggers at the offending delinquent who was trying to ignore her. A substitute sat down at the teachers desk. What is it with teachers not showing up today? This sub was even worse than the normal teacher. Besides the fact that she could barely teach, she was a nervous wreck. Not only that, but she demanded I put my book away and listen. The deal was, if my grades stayed at the top of the class, I could spend the class however I wanted. But there was no explaining this to her. An hour of her voice was almost enough to make me pull out my book once more, but I decided against it lest my grade suffer.

And then it was time for the best part of the day. Fourth period was the only one where my entire group of friends was in the same class, not to mention how cool the teacher is. I took unusually long to gather my books from my locker. The halls were empty, just how I liked it. Of course there was a higher risk of running into a certain bully who is more than happy to skip classes every chance he got. So, I walked quickly in an almost panicked way. But there he was at the end of the hall, walking my way. In my mind I desperately wanted to walk the other way, but if I did, I would surely be late for class, and passing period was almost over. So, I walked a bit slower, and tried to ignore him as he did the opposite. I braced myself for his harsh words or his even harsher means of physical harassment. But all he did was forcefully bump his shoulder into mine and continue walking with a smirk as he heard the sound of my books clattering to the floor and my desperate attempt at catching them. But as I gathered them up, the late bell rang. I ran I the direction of my classroom, only slowing down once it neared.

**Too OOC? Probably. I feel kind of bad making Duncan the bad guy but it had to be someone. A lot of Noco from me, I know. But they're the only two I ever feel motivated to write for. As I always say, review to let me know what I'm doing right and what I'm doing wrong, thanks!**


End file.
